Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might
by Hotflash
Summary: SORRY! On hold while i get my life in order...A patient in crisis forces Johnny to rethink his life choices and face the consequences of breaking rule number one. originally started by TehMarishal as "Starlight, Star Bright, Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite."
1. Chapter 1

**Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 1**

Author's Note: This story was originally titled, "Starlight, Star Bright, Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite" and was started by TehMarishal who wrote the first two chapters. Chapters three and four were co-authored by me. For a multitude of reasons, TehMarishal has decided not to continue with this story and has graciously granted me permission to adopt it and finish it. I would like to thank her for starting this story off so well, inviting me to join her in writing and allowing me to adopt it and make it my own. I hope she will enjoy seeing where it goes and how it will end. I hope you, the readers, will enjoy the story as well. -Hotflash

**A/N –by TehMarishal: Be warned that this is my first Emergency fanfic. And I'll be the first to admit I don't know everything about the show. So, I hope I have kept everyone in character, and I hope I have kept my facts straight. If I got something wrong, I'm sorry.**

**Disclaimer by TehMarishal: I don't own Emergency or anything related to it. I simply did this for fun**.

_**Hotflash's**__**disclaimer: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios, all rights reserved. I do not own the characters or any rights to the television show, characters, storylines, etc. The stories I write are strictly for private, non-commercial entertainment, and I receive no compensation, financial or otherwise. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended nor should it be inferred. The only benefit I get for writing these stories is the comments of readers and the satisfaction of spending time with the "friends" I grew up with. Original characters in these stories, not previously associated with the television series were created by and are owned by me, the author. (The characters of Donna and Andrew Fletcher are O.C.'s created by TehMarishal.)**_

It was obvious to everyone that John Gage was in a bad mood. The other firemen could tell simply by the way he kept grumbling to himself.

And they could also tell because, as Chet put it, "Johnny seemed to give off an aura like that of a dark rain cloud, complete with thunder and lightening" when he got into a certain mood. This, of course, sparked a short session of banter between John and Chet.

The other firemen observed the banter in amused silence as breakfast continued on. The table was covered with an assortment of coffee and tea, along with a few donuts and bagels. Captain Stanley was talking to one of the other firemen as he sipped his coffee and munched on a blueberry bagel. The others were making small talk as well, or reading the newspaper. Or watching Johnny and Chet continue to make jabs at each other.

Finally when breakfast was over, everyone began to clear out of the room. Some of them were going to perform some maintenance work on the fire engine, or clean the other rooms. Johnny, however, was stuck with dish detail again. And the fact that he seemed to grumble more than usual about having to collect the dishes and then wash them caught Roy's attention.

Roy sighed softly, and then glanced around the room. Sure enough everyone else was gone, so it was just he and Johnny. _I'd better talk to him,_ he thought. It was best to get on with this as soon as possible, to clear the air. They would both feel better afterwards.

"Johnny?" Roy said quietly as he walked toward his friend and partner.

Gage plunked a plate into the sink and turned on the water. He paused long enough to make sure the stopper was in place, and then turned away from the sink. He needed to wait until it was full anyway. "Yeah?" he said.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night," Roy said slowly, meeting his friend's gaze to show he was sincere. DeSoto had always been the diplomatic one, and always deemed it best to be the first to apologize, at least in most cases. "I didn't think that things would be so… hectic."

"'Hectic'?" John repeated, and then let out a short, sarcastic laugh. "Roy, 'hectic' doesn't even begin to describe what happened!" He shook his head, turning back to check on the sink. It was gradually filling up. "Next time I need to have my place fumigated I'll stay at a hotel," he muttered.

"Funny, that's the exact same thing I said when I stayed at your place," Roy murmured.

John heard him. He looked at his friend and said, "I knew you were just doing this to get back at me."

Roy heard the undertone of humor in his tone, and noticed the small glint in his eyes. "Yeah well, you know that I didn't do this to get even," DeSoto said, smiling a little. "Besides I heard that you have a whopper of a credit card bill coming up this month, so I knew you couldn't afford a motel."

Gage snorted. He'd gotten into an accident a few days ago thanks to a drunk driver. Ironically, Johnny's skills as a paramedic had saved the driver's life, and John himself had sustained only a few cuts and bruises. But the same couldn't be said for his car; he'd had to take it to the shop for repairs. Hence the monstrous credit card bill that was coming up.

"There's just one thing I don't get," Johnny muttered, shutting off the faucet. The sink now had an adequate amount of water within it. "After you and Joanne got finished raiding the fridge and, an, 'nibbling'"—John made the quote and unquote gesture with his fingers, then shoved his hands into the soap suds within the sink—"you dozed off and started snoring loudly enough to wake the dead. And Joanne just sits there on the bed beside you, propped up against her pillows, reading a magazine and eating chicken leftovers as if she doesn't hear a thing."

Johnny picked up one of the plates and began to scrub it as he went on. "But as soon as I fell asleep on that makeshift bed you guys told me to sleep on—after it took me a long time to find a comfortable position, mind you—she comes in, shakes me on the shoulder until I wake up, and tells me to turn over because I'm snoring and it's keeping her up." Gage plunked the plate he had now finished cleaning into the dish drainer and scowled at his friend. "Does that seem fair to you?"

DeSoto's teeth flashed slightly as he smiled. "Well, Joanne told me that she's used to my snoring, but she's not used to other people snoring."

Gage shot his friend a look of disbelief and bewilderment. "So you're telling me that you can be in there, snoring like a car without a muffler, _right next to her,_ and she's fine with it? But if I'm in the living room, snoring just a little, it bothers her?"

"Apparently," Roy shrugged. His expression and demeanor suggested that he didn't understand it any more than John did.

"Yeah, well…" Gage plunked a couple more plates into the dish drainer. "That was nothing compared to what happened next. It took me an hour and a half to find another comfortable position on that couch and then I got woke up again when a blood-curdling scream nearly sent me through the roof."

Roy nodded slowly, a look of understanding and compassion crossing his features. "A couple of nights ago, Jennifer spent the night at a friend's house. Apparently they watched a scary movie, one that Jen was told not to watch. So during the past couple of nights, she's been having nightmares."

"Ah," was all that John said as he proceeded to wash the coffee mugs.

A moment of silence fell between them, and as Gage finished the last of the dishes and began to drain the water out of the sink, Roy spoke again. "Is there something else bothering you?"

The sigh, along with the hesitancy in speaking, told Roy that something was indeed bothering Johnny. And Gage's next words confirmed it. "I don't know, Roy, I guess I was just thinking." He turned on the faucet long enough to rinse the soap residue down the drain, then shut off the water and moved a short distance away from the sink.

"About what?" Roy prompted gently when the other man said nothing.

John released another sigh, then he did what he always did when he wanted to talk but didn't at the same time. He shuffled his feet, shoved his hands into his pockets, and stared down at the floor as he moved around a little. Then he removed his hands from his pockets and touched his chin thoughtfully, as though trying to decide what to say, or whether to say anything at all.

"It's nothing," he finally muttered, and headed out of the room.

Roy watched him go. He then decided to follow him, to see if John would tell him what was wrong. The younger man always did eventually, anyway. However, the alarm went off right at that moment—as it always did, interrupting his plan—and everything on his mind had to be pushed aside to go and answer the call, along with the others.

_**A/N Sorry that was kinda short. Yes I do have an idea on what's wrong with Johnny. I just need a little time to develop it more. –TehMarishal**_

_**Please take a moment to leave a review. Thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 2**

***This chapter was written by TehMarishal before I got involved with the story.**

When the firemen and paramedics arrived at their destination, they saw no signs of a fire or any commotion whatsoever. They parked their vehicles just outside of a large brown house; for that was the address they were given.

"You sure this is the right address?" Roy asked quietly, casting a quick glance toward his partner, and then looking out the window. He kept his hand rested on the steering wheel, wondering if they could have somehow arrived at the wrong place.

Johnny looked at a piece of paper, and then nodded slowly. A second later, he spoke into the radio, and asked for a confirmation on the address and location. A moment later, they received their confirmation that they were indeed at the right place.

"Well, let's check it out," Roy murmured. He could see that the captain and the other firemen were already out and looking around at the house.

Roy, Johnny and Stanley approached the front door on the house. The three men exchanged brief glances, and then Johnny stepped forward and rapped the door with his knuckles. "Hello?" the paramedic called out.

At first there was no answer. Johnny knocked again. He then tried turning the knob, only to find it locked. The paramedics then considered moving away from the front door to try the back door, but before they turned around, the front door suddenly opened.

A short, white-haired woman peered at them curiously. She was wearing a thick green sweater and a thick, ankle-length skirt. She was barefoot, she wore glasses, and her hair was short and slightly curled.

"Oh why hello there!" she exclaimed in a friendly tone of voice, as if she were expecting them as visitors. "Would you like some tea and cookies? I've just put the kettle on the stove!"

"Uh, Ma'am," Roy spoke up then, "is there any problem here? We got a call about a fire at this location."

"Oh I don't know anything about a fire," the elderly woman shrugged, and then she smiled again. "But why don't you come on inside? We can talk in the living room and have some tea, unless you prefer coffee."

Roy was sure he could smell smoke and maybe hot metal in the air as he stood in the doorway talking to the elderly woman.

"Cap!" one of the other men called from the side of the building. "I see smoke in the kitchen!" Apparently he had looked in through one of the windows.

At that, the men sprang into action. They brought their gear into the house and used powerful extinguishers to snuff out a stove fire. Apparently the woman had indeed put a kettle on the stove, along with a couple of pans… and forgotten about it. The kettle was half-melted now due to the heat and the fact that all of the water within had long since boiled away. And whatever had been cooking within the pans was little more than charcoal now. Thankfully the fire had not yet spread to the cabinets above the stove.

When the fire was out, Marco and Chet began going around and opening windows and the back door to ventilate the house and clear the smoke from the kitchen.

All the while, the elderly lady acted completely clueless as to what was going on. She didn't seem to know anything about the fire, or what year she was in for that matter. Roy and Johnny managed to convince her to sit on the couch, where she began to speak to them as though they were her sons.

"What's your name, Ma'am?" Roy asked gently.

"Oh you know I don't like being called that, Steven dear," she said, shaking her finger at him a little. "You know I always like being called 'Mother' or perhaps 'Mom'." Then she grinned as she turned to look at Johnny. "Now tell me, Timmy, how is Ann and that beautiful daughter of yours? Oh I got the pictures you sent me in the mail. That girl is just growing up so fast!" She reached forward and grabbed Johnny's face with her hands. "Your father and I are so proud of you!"

"Uh," Johnny shifted uncomfortably, "Ma'am—"

She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead affectionately.

Right at that moment, Chet came into the room. "Well," he said, "we've got the fire out and—" Then he noticed the old woman holding Johnny's face and planting a wet smooch just below his hairline. Chet raised his eyebrows and then glanced at Roy.

Roy looked somewhat amused, somewhat awkward. "Apparently she thinks we're her sons," he murmured quietly for Chet's benefit.

Johnny knew that it was going to take days, at least, for him to be able to live this one down.

Since there were no injuries, there was no need to make a trip to Rampart Hospital. And the firemen were shortly informed that one of the neighbors had called the fire department because they smelled smoke when they were delivering the old lady's medicine to her. Apparently she lived with her daughter, but the younger woman was out of town for the day on an urgent matter. And sometimes the old woman got… forgetful, to put it mildly.

Once everyone got back to the station, they parked the vehicles and double-checked their gear, during which time Johnny had to endure some playful jibes about what happened back at the old lady's house. Roy thought he saw his partner's cheek go slightly pink during the exchange, although it was nothing like the bright, scarlet red he swore he'd seen on Johnny's face when that woman had kissed him in her motherly way.

A little while later, when everything had quieted down a bit, Roy found Johnny at his locker, apparently looking for something. Either that or the younger man simply wanted a little time to himself, which Roy could understand.

"How're you doing?" Roy asked, pressing a hand against the door of his own locker to lean against it. "Is everything okay?"

Johnny spared him a brief glance, and then proceeded to look through the clothes in his locker, apparently straightening them out. "Yeah, I guess so." He snorted. "Not like a little old lady could kill me, after all."

Desoto chuckled. "Actually that's not what I meant. I was referring to, well…" He glanced down at the floor briefly, shifting his feet a little before he continued. "When we were talking before, you sounded like something was on your mind."

Gage froze momentarily, then seemed to finish straightening up his locker and closed the door. He then leaned against it, pressing his hand thoughtfully against his chin. "Well," he finally said, shifting his position to look at his friend, "I guess it's just… that night I spent at your house really got me to thinking in some ways."

"Oh?" Roy prompted, keeping his eyes locked on the other man.

Johnny sighed and slowly sank down onto the space below the locker. He folded his hands together and looked thoughtful. He also had that body language again, where he wanted to talk but wasn't sure how to say it, and was trying to figure out if he really wanted to say it. But Roy knew he would open up eventually, possibly soon, because he always did.

"I guess it's just that stuff with Joanne, and your daughter, that got me to thinking," Gage finally said.

"What about them?" Roy inquired, trying to figure out where exactly this was going.

"Well, you've been married for some time now, and you have a family," Johnny went on slowly. "In some ways, I guess I'm just starting to wonder if I'll ever get married, and I wonder if I really want a family." His lips twitched into a brief, thoughtful smile as he glanced up at Roy. "I mean, yeah I'm always trying to hook up a date with every new girl I see, and I've gone out plenty of times. But…"

"But?" Desoto pressed gently when Gage trailed off.

Johnny sighed and stood, beginning to pace as he continued speaking. "I wonder if I really want that life, or if I've even thought about what I would be getting into if it did happen. I mean, what if I got married and then had kids?" He shrugged, and then shook his head a little. "I don't know how you handle it, Roy, especially what little I saw last night. I mean going out with a woman is one thing. But being married, and then having a couple of kids to look after…" He looked directly at his friend's face now. "That's a whole different ballgame, and a lot more responsibility."

Now Roy looked thoughtful. "Yeah, having kids can take some getting used to at first," he murmured, as if thinking back to some memory. "But it's not all bad either. I mean, not every night is full of nightmares. In fact," he smiled, "having kids is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me."

"Hmm." Johnny seemed to think about that for a moment. "I guess I can't help but wonder if I'm not cut out for that, though. I mean there's a lot that goes into raising a family. You have to be a good role model for your kids, you have to spend time with them, make sure they're doing well in school…" As he continued to count off the list, he continued to look more and more discouraged from the idea of having kids.

"John," Roy cut in at one point, "I think you're focusing a bit too much on the negative here. I can safely speak from experience that, if you ever do get married, for every bit of love and devotion you give to that woman, you will be given a lot in return. And the same goes for the love, time, and attention you give to your kids. When you see them growing up into good, respectful people…" He smiled. "You know it's worth it, and you know you're doing something worthwhile."

"Heh, yeah," John acknowledged in agreement. "But um, what about all those times when your children make bad choices, or do something wrong?"

"Then you need to be firm and let them know that they're doing the wrong thing," Roy answered. "You also need to make sure that they know, and understand, that you love them no matter what. And that the only reason you correct them is because you care, and you want them to make wise choices in life."

"Sounds so simple, but so complicated at the same time."

Roy patted his friend on the shoulder. "It takes time and experience, as well as practice," he said. "Just like everything does. And you know that if you ever do have kids someday, you can come to me anytime if you need help."

Smiling, John nodded a little. "Thanks, Roy. I appreciate that a lot."

_***Thanks for reading. Any reviews and comments left would be appreciated very much.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Star Light Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might

**Chapter 3**

***This chapter was written by TehMarishal before I got involved with the story.**

**WARNING: This chapter deals with a victim of sexual assault.**

The station alarm went off again, this time right in the middle of lunch. This call was only for the squad, so Johnny and Roy were the only ones who had to go.

As the two paramedics got into their squad, and as Stanley acknowledged the call on the radio for them, Gage muttered something about how it felt like that's the way it always was.

"What do you mean?" Roy murmured as he fastened his seatbelt and started the engine, turning on the lights and sirens. They began to move forward.

"Well," Johnny replied as they began to turn out onto the main road, "think about it. Every single time we get a call, we're always the ones who have to go. I mean it's either a medical emergency, or something that needs both of us and the rest of the guys there. So anytime the alarm goes off, we can always rest assured that we have to go by default." Johnny made a gesture near the window. "At least the rest of the guys get a fair chance of finishing their lunch."

"That's part of the price to pay when you're a paramedic," Roy commented calmly, keeping his eyes on the road. "Besides, we don't go to rubbish fires!" He mentally ran the street address through his mind one more time to make sure it was still fresh, although he knew that Johnny had it on a piece of paper as well. "We're firemen too, but we're paramedics first."

"Yeah, kind of like carrying a double load on a single shift," Johnny murmured, and then resumed looking straight out through the windshield.

"You have to admit it's worth it though," Roy countered, thoughtfully. "Think about all the lives we've saved."

Gage nodded, becoming equally thoughtful. "Yeah," he agreed. That was the reason he'd become a paramedic in the first place, after all. He was now doing something to save lives, so that those people had a better chance of living until they reached the hospital. That was something worth doing… even if it meant missing lunch. "I guess it's not me grumbling about it, you know," he murmured. "It's my stomach that's doing the complaining. I haven't eaten anything since last night."

"We'll get something on the way back, if you want," his partner replied.

A few minutes later they arrived at the site the dispatcher had told them to go to. It was a large brick house along the side of a street, one with a large yard and a beautiful white-colored wooden fence around it.

Once the squad was parked next to the sidewalk, just in front of the gate, the two paramedics got out. As they walked around to grab their gear out of the side of the truck, Roy murmured, "I wonder what we've got here."

Johnny grabbed the respirator and the trauma kit while Roy grabbed the drug box and the biophone. "Don't know, the dispatcher did say 'unknown type rescue'."

Neither paramedic would say it aloud, but "unknown" rescues gave them a small sense of dread, because they had no idea what to expect. Of course it could simply turn out to be someone with his or her hand stuck in a mixer, or overdosed on five tablets of aspirin… or it could easily be something much worse.

And there was a slight prickling on the back of Johnny's neck that told him this was going to be one of those cases where, perhaps, he might end up wishing he'd never gotten out of bed that morning.

The front gate on the fence was unlocked, but as they went into the yard a rather large, black dog with long fangs, a deafening bark and an aggressive demeanor suddenly confronted them. Johnny ended up dropping the trauma kit on the grass as he and Roy made a hasty retreat back out of the yard and closed the gate behind them. The dog continued to bark and howl, even standing on its hind legs and placing its paws against the white wood. It looked like it wanted to jump over the fence or tear its way through it, and then take a chunk out of the paramedics.

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this," Johnny muttered, looking at the dog warily. That prickle in the back of his neck had intensified slightly. But he didn't dare try to speculate too much; they simply needed to get past the dog, _then_ they would see what the problem was.

Just then a police car rolled up, parking just a few feet behind the squad. The officer stepped out, took a moment to observe the situation, and then was ready to assist the paramedics. Then, between the aid of a fire extinguisher for distraction, and a noose, they were able to secure the dog to one of the fence posts at the corner of the yard.

As the three men walked away from the dog it howled in protest, yanking on its rope, but was secure and out of the way.

The three men approached the front porch, and Johnny took a moment to pick up the trauma kit that he'd dropped. Once they went up the steps, Roy freed one hand and knocked on the door. At first there was no answer, but then there was a slight shuffling noise on the other side.

"Hello?" Roy called out, trying to peer through the small window on the top of the door. He could see a pretty clear view of a mudroom, as well as a door that lead to the interior of the house. The second door appeared to be open, although he couldn't see anyone, or much beyond it. "This is the fire department. Is anyone home?" He rapped his knuckles against the door again. After waiting a couple of seconds he tried the doorknob. The door was locked.

Suddenly there was another noise, like someone was pawing around on the other side of the door. After a few moments there was a "click" noise, like the sound of the door being unlocked. Then the doorknob began to jiggle a little.

Roy grabbed the doorknob and touched it gently. He turned it and very slowly began to open it. It opened outward, and once he'd opened it far enough, he saw a red-haired woman sitting on the floor. Her long hair was a mess, her green eyes were wide and fearful, and her shirt was tattered and torn, as if it had been grabbed roughly.

"Hey there, are you alright?" DeSoto asked, bending down to take a look at her, putting out a hand to touch her shoulder.

She gasped and flinched as his hand came near, causing Roy to pull his arm back. She scooted herself away from the door, pushing a small rug along underneath her as she moved.

"Hey now, its okay," Roy said soothingly, offering a small smile. "We're here to help you. Are you hurt anywhere?"

The woman made no reply. She pressed her lips into a thin line, and then looked as though she were biting her lower lip. Then she pressed a hand against her mouth, almost as though she were trying to hold in a scream or a sob. Possibly both. Her expression was terribly fearful, and there was a look of pain in her eyes.

Johnny peered at the woman over his partner's shoulder, frowning. _What happened to you?_ He thought, trying to make an external diagnostic with his eyes. The woman seemed to be aware of her surroundings, from what he could see, and her eyes were focused. Maybe it was a drug overdose, but… she seemed more frightened than anything.

Suddenly she jumped to her feet and then ran through the interior door, taking off into the house. Roy immediately moved to follow, nearly stumbling over the small rug in the process. He managed to catch himself on the door, and then walked past it as he went after the woman.

Johnny found himself glancing down at the rug as his partner went into the interior of the house. He wasn't sure why he looked but when he did, he noticed something that instantly caught his attention; there was blood on the rug, right where she had been sitting on it when she scooted herself away from the outer door. She was bleeding?

Gage then went to follow after his partner, who had apparently followed the woman into the living room area. He was a little surprised to see Roy crouched down on the carpet in front of the couch when there was no one on the couch… until he noticed that the woman was sitting in the space between the wall and the end of the couch, as if she were hiding. As he walked through the front room it was apparent there had been a struggle. The furniture looked as though it had been pushed around, there were magazines and a flower vase with silk flowers on the floor by the couch.

"We're not gonna hurt you," Roy was saying, speaking very gently. "My name is Roy DeSoto, I'm a paramedic," he glanced up upon noticing his partner entering. He made a small gesture toward John, looking back at the woman. "This is my partner, John Gage. We're to help you. Were you the one who called us, Ma'am?"

She was sitting with her knees up and her arms wrapped around them. She looked more like a frightened six-year-old than someone who'd overdosed on drugs. She eyed the paramedics warily, her green orbs darting from Roy to John, then back to Roy again. She nodded slowly.

"Alright then," Roy said, "why don't you come out here and let us take a look at you? Are you hurt?"

"A-actually," the woman spoke for the first time, stumbling over the syllables as if struggling not to burst into tears, "I wasn't the one who called. My brother called, then he went to…" A sound escaped her lips that was somewhere between a sob and a gasp. She clamped her mouth shut as tears began to shine in the corners of her eyes. She looked like she was barely keeping herself contained.

"Roy," Johnny whispered in his partner's direction. "There was blood on the rug out there."

DeSoto's eyes widened in alarm as he shot a glance toward Gage, then turned his attention back to the woman. "Are you bleeding, Ma'am?" Roy asked softly. "Do you hurt anywhere?"

She had her lips pressed into a thin line, and she covered her mouth with her hand again. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Frowning, Roy reached out to touch her arm, in an attempt to sooth her and get through to her. She cried out softly at his touch, flinching and slapping his hand away. She then scooted herself back a little, pressing herself even more tightly in the cramped space she was in.

The two paramedics exchanged glances, and a silent thought passed between them. Both of them realized what they were dealing with. The truth was, they had seen a few cases very similar to this before, and this woman was showing symptoms of a very specific kind of attack… one they'd hoped they wouldn't have to see again. Yet apparently they were. The blood on the rug in the mud room, where she had been sitting, as well as her fear of being touched, the obvious signs of a struggle and the fact that she looked like a scared child about to burst into tears… it all lead to one thing.

"I'll get Rampart," Roy murmured quietly, moving a short distance away to get to the biophone. He opened up the red case and, after attaching the small antennae, he picked up the phone. "Rampart, this is squad 51," he spoke, his voice quiet and rough.

"Hey now," Johnny told the woman gently, "everything's gonna be okay now. Why don't you tell me your name?"

"Donna." She sniffled, wrapping her arms more tightly around herself and glancing down toward the floor.

"Okay, Donna," Johnny said softly, holding up his hands but not touching her, "I'm not gonna hurt you, and I won't touch you unless you say it's okay. And I'm gonna say what I'm going to do before I do anything, is that okay?"

"Please don't touch me." Donna spoke through gritted teeth.

"You need help, and we're here to help you," Johnny said.

In the background, the voice of Dixie responded on the other end. "Squad 51, we read you loud and clear."

"Rampart we have a female, approximately twenty-five years old." Roy hesitated, sucking in a deep breath. "We think she's a victim of sexual assault."

There was a definite pause on the other end of the line. "Understood, Rampart… No

we haven't been able to get them yet, please stand by."

Johnny held his hands out in front of him, in sort of a peaceful gesture, still facing the woman. "Will you let me check your pulse?" he asked softly. "All I will need to do is touch your arm. I won't touch anything else."

Donna hesitated, still keeping her distance and holding herself protectively. Johnny inched one of his hands toward hers and then stopped, not touching her. "I just want to see if you're okay," he insisted, trying to communicate his sincerity and reassurance to her with his eyes. "Please, will you let me help?"

A/N To be continued! So yeah… if you don't like the theme or where this is going… feel free to stop reading now. –TehMarishal

Thanks for reading this story. Your comments and reviews are always appreciated.

5


	4. Chapter 4

**Star Light Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**  
Chapter 4**

***This is the first chapter I co-authored with TehMarishal. **

While Johnny attempted to gain the woman's trust, Roy looked around the room. He saw an afghan on the couch and brought it over to her. It was something soft and warm to comfort her and help build trust. And it was sure a lot better than the plastic yellow blankets they carried on the squad. He waited to see if she would let Johnny get her pulse as he held the afghan.

Donna's eyes darted around the room. She still held herself securely, and part of her looked as though she wanted to flee the room. Yet she seemed anchored to the spot she was in. Her eyes finally settled on the dark-haired paramedic crouched near her. She looked very wary. She seemed to be thinking over her options.

Or perhaps she simply figured that if she tried to run, one of the paramedics might grab her. Since she didn't want to be touched, perhaps she would feel she had more control if she simply did as John Gage suggested. Finally, with a deep breath, she slowly held out her hand toward him, keeping her eyes wide and alert.

"That's it. You're okay. I'm not gonna hurt you now. I'm just gonna feel for a pulse." Johnny spoke soothingly as he reached ever so gently for the woman's wrist.

Donna tensed slightly as his fingers touched her arm, but true to his word all he did was press a couple of fingers in the hollow place on the underside of her wrist. She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly.

"Good. Roy, pulse is 110." He looked at Donna. "Now Donna, right?" He wanted to make sure he had her name right. "We're gonna help you but we have to know what happened. Can you tell me? Were you sexually assaulted?"

As he waited for her response, Johnny prepared to take her blood pressure. He put the stethoscope around his neck and unrolled the cuff.

Roy meanwhile was watching her chest rise and fall in order to count respirations without having to touch her. He noted that they were shallow and rapid.

She squeezed her eyes shut, sucking in another deep breath. "Yeah," she whispered softly. "To both questions," she added after a moment. She opened her eyes again, and a single tear shone in the light as it slowly slid down her face. "He…" She closed her eyes again, placing a hand over her mouth, trying to contain her sobs.

"It's okay, you can tell me. I need to take your blood pressure. I'm gonna put this cuff around your arm now okay? Tell me where you're hurt." he spoke very softly and moved slowly and cautiously.

Donna narrowed her eyes. The tears were flowing freely down her swollen cheeks now, though except for her heavy breathing she made no noise. "Just take my blood pressure and then keep your hands away," she finally murmured. She held out her arm toward him again, purposely holding it away from herself.

"I understand. Thank you for letting me help you." Johnny carefully slid the cuff up her bruised arm and fastened it in place. As he squeezed the bulb inflating the cuff Roy softly spoke to her.

"Donna? I found a blanket for you. Is it okay if I put it around your shoulders? It might help you stop shaking." He didn't think she even realized she was shaking.

"BP is 100/70." It was a bit low; she was shocky which wasn't at all surprising.

Donna's reaction confirmed Roy's thought. She blinked and then glanced down at herself, and then she seemed to make an effort to steady herself. She nodded toward Roy, and then locked her eyes on Johnny again. "What happens now?" she murmured as the brown-haired paramedic came closer with the blanket.

Roy gently draped the blanket over her shoulders and then stepped back from her a ways, so she wouldn't feel threatened. "We need to know where else you're hurt. We saw blood on the rug you were sitting on. We have to treat your injuries and then we need to take you to the hospital." Roy spoke with kindness and compassion. "I'm gonna let Johnny here do most of the work and I'll stay over here. Okay?"

"I don't want anyone touching me," Donna growled out, wrapping the blanket that Roy had given her tightly around herself, protectively. "I'm not hurt anywhere. Or if I am, it'll get better on its own."

Johnny sighed. "Now Donna, you are hurt, and it's not gonna get better on its own. I know you're scared, but we only want to help. What do you say?" He wished someone the girl knew was there to support her; someone who would convince her to let them help.

While he tried to convince her, Roy returned to the biophone and reported to Rampart.

"Rampart, Squad 51."

"Squad 51, we read you loud and clear," came Dr. Brackett's acknowledgement.

"Who's he talking to?" Donna whispered, looking in Roy's direction.

"He's talking to Dr. Brackett at Rampart Emergency." Johnny answered.

"Rampart, we have vitals for you. BP is 100/70, pulse is 110 and respirations are a little fast and shallow. She's scared and not wanting us to touch her. We're still trying to determine what other injuries she has."

"He's telling somebody else about me?" Donna exclaimed softly, her eyes widening. Then a look of anger began to mix with the fear in her eyes. "I don't want the whole world knowing about this!" she hissed, placing one hand on the end of the couch and pulling herself up off the floor. "My brother shouldn't have told anyone." She remained where she was, but held the blanket even more tightly around herself.

"Now calm down, calm down." Johnny said soothingly again. "He's talking to a doctor. Everything between us, the doctor and you is completely confidential. We're here to help, but we take our orders from the doctor. How are you feeling right now?"

She didn't answer him. She simply stared blankly at him.

"Is there someone we can call to come be with you? Would that make you more comfortable?" He asked her, hopefully.

Roy could just make out siren in the back ground as he waited for a response from Rampart. The ambulance would be here soon.

Dr. Bracket gave Roy orders to start an IV, treat for shock and continue to monitor vitals and told him to proceed with caution but find out about other injuries as soon as possible.

"Stay out of my way," Donna snipped, suddenly. Then in a quick, sudden burst of movement, she scooted right past Johnny and moved over to the other side of the room, near where the back door was. The door was ajar, evidently left open when someone went out through it in a rush prior to the paramedics' arrival.

Roy saw it coming and dashed to the doorway just in the nick of time. He stood between Donna and freedom with his hands up palms out. "Now calm down Donna," he said very softly. "Please, let us help you. We're not going to hurt you but you need help." He could see she was going to pass out soon. The sudden burst of motion should have caused her to get very light headed.

Right at that moment, the door swung open all the way, permitting two figures to enter. The police officer who'd assisted the paramedics with the dog outside now came in, accompanied by a man who had blood running down the front of his face, along with an enormous bruise on his forehead.

"This is Andrew," the officer said, indicating the man beside him and holding him steady.

"ANDREW!" Donna gasped, staring at the injured man with widened eyes. She pressed a hand against her mouth as if to prevent a scream.

Andrew coughed a little, and then looked over at the woman. "Sorry," he murmured, frowning deeply. "I caught up with him but he got away. After doing this to me." He pointed at his face, and then hung his head.

Roy didn't want to take his eyes off of Donna for fear that she'd jackrabbit another direction. He jerked his head the direction of Andrew and Johnny nodded and pointed to Donna, who couldn't see him from her position. Now that Roy knew Johnny would keep Donna from bolting another direction, he turned to help Andrew.

"Andrew, I'm Roy DeSoto and my partner John Gage is trying to help Donna. Right at the moment she is very scared and not allowing us to help. Do you think you can help us with that?"

He reached toward Andrew as he spoke. "Why don't you let me have a look at that nose?"

Johnny approached Donna slowly and spoke softly to her. "Donna, it's okay. You're safe now. At least let us take you to the hospital. The doctors need to check you out. You can get a woman doctor if you want."

Andrew flinched a little when Roy's fingers touched the edge of his nose very gently. The injured man already knew that it was probably broken. He'd heard a crunch when he'd been decked. "Yeah," he said simply, his eyes darting from the paramedic to the girl. "She's my sister. I should've been here to protect her."

"I've already got several men looking for the culprit," the officer spoke up.

"I should have killed him when I had the chance!" Andrew spat. "I had my hands around his neck before he did this to me."

Donna said nothing. She wasn't making any move to run, although she did back away a bit and press herself against the wall. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then she closed it again.

"Donna, I'm so sorry… I should have been here," Andrew murmured to her, taking a step toward her when Roy stepped away to get some gauze for his nose.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, although she did not seem bothered by his approach. "If he did that to you, you would have been hurt if you were here," she whispered.

Andrew moved closer to her, raising his hand as if to touch his nose, then immediately thought better of it. He lowered his hand, and then placed it on her shoulder. She flinched a little, but remained still. "Look Donna," he said softly, ", I know he… um… hurt you." He lowered his head again. "I'm sorry."

Donna opened her eyes, looking at him. "Look I just want to be left alone. I want them to leave, and I just want to go to my room and be alone."

Andrew glanced at the paramedics and the police officer, and then turned back to his sister. "Donna," he said, "I think you should let them take a look at you, at least. Just to see if there's anything wrong."

"I don't want them to." Donna snapped then pressed her lips into a thin line.

"I know that," Andrew murmured soothingly, then placed a hand on her other shoulder. "But I think they know what they're doing. They just want to see if you're okay. And if you are okay, you won't have to go anywhere. But if something is wrong, wouldn't you want to know now, before it gets worse?"

His sister was silent. She stared at him for a long moment, and then her eyes darted toward the others in the room, then back at her brother.

"I'll be outside if you need me," the officer said, graciously excusing himself. He silently headed out the back door.

"I'll be here every minute," Andrew assured her gently. "I'll hold you while they look at you, if you want."

A few moments passed. At first, judging by the expression on her features, it seemed that she was going to refuse. Everything about the way she looked strongly indicated she wanted to say no. But under Andrew's compassionate, determined gaze, she finally gave in. She sucked in a deep breath then slowly nodded. "Just… don't leave me," she whispered, barely audible.

"I'll be right here," Andrew murmured. "Now come on… let's sit you down on the floor." She allowed herself to be gently lowered onto the floor, into a sitting position, and then Andrew wrapped one arm around her shoulders and then gently took her hand into his free hand.

Roy handed Andrew something for his nose. "Keep this over your nose and apply as much pressure as you can stand to stop the bleeding. Lean forward so the blood doesn't go down your throat," he instructed.

Johnny looked at Donna. "Tell me how you're feeling. I need to know your symptoms. And I need to elevate your feet higher than your head. Your body is going into shock and that means that your blood isn't circulating the way it should. Elevating your feet is going to help." He grabbed some couch cushions to put under her legs.

Andrew held the compress against his nose, keeping his face aimed downward as instructed. He kept his free arm wrapped around his sister's shoulders, holding her securely. Donna lifted her legs a little, allowing the paramedic to slide the cushions underneath them.

"Can you lie back for me?" Johnny asked and Andrew scooted himself away so that as she leaned on him her torso gently lowered. He kept a hand on her shoulder and stayed as close to her as he could in the process.

"Come on," her brother whispered softly into her ear. "Tell him where it hurts."

"I've been bleeding from my…" She trailed off, biting her lower lip.

"Okay, were you bleeding before your attack? Are you... menstruating?"

Donna scowled at the paramedic. "No," she stated firmly. "What kind of a question is that for you to ask me anyway?" She looked at her brother, as if getting ready to say something to him, but he cut her off.

"Donna they're just trying to help," Andrew told her gently, squeezing her shoulder a little. He made a sniffling noise, and then pressed the compress against his nose once again.

"Sorry, I have to ask. I can't assume anything. I know it's personal but I have to make sure the bleeding is under control." John tried to look between the cushions and her backside on the floor to see if there was much blood presenting. It seemed to be minimal so he said to her, "I think they can check that out at the hospital. There are nurses trained in that sort of thing and you'd probably be more comfortable. But I still need to know how you're feeling and re-check your blood pressure. If it drops too low I won't be able to wait." He hoped she would take that information calmly and that with her brother there to reassure her she would cooperate.

"We've got to talk to the doctor and get that cleared, too." He warned her so she wouldn't get so upset when Roy called it in.

"I don't want to go to the hospital, where somebody will be touching me there," Donna snapped. She started to move a little, taking one of her legs off the cushions as if to try and get up, but her brother held onto her, dropping the compress and placed that hand on her other shoulder as well.

"They're gonna take care of you, and I'll be there with you too," Andrew murmured. "Please let them help you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Donna insisted stubbornly. "I just want to go back to Mom's house and keep the doors locked."

Roy dropped his head down, frustrated but trying to present calmly for his patient's sake.

"Donna, there is nothing more we can do for you if you don't let us. Now the doctor has asked me to start an IV to help with the shock your body is experiencing. If we don't treat you now, you're going to pass out. When you do, we are required to treat and transport because shock left untreated is life threatening. The hospital needs to examine you and determine why you are bleeding and treat that. They need to prevent infection. They will take samples of blood and any other... fluids during the exam so they can gather evidence for prosecuting the guy that did this to you. They will have a rape counselor on hand to walk you through this process and it will be a woman. If you choose not to let us help you now, you're only delaying the inevitable."

For a moment the woman was silent, considering his words. She then looked at her brother, who was eyeing her expectantly, awaiting her answer. She looked back toward the paramedics. "Can…" Her voice caught in her throat. She closed her eyes, swallowed, then opened her eyes and tried again. "Can a doctor and counselor just come here instead?" She spoke in a small voice, like that of a child afraid to get out of bed in the dark for fear of there being monsters underneath it.

Johnny took over for Roy. "Now Donna, I know that would make you feel a lot more secure, but they have everything they need there to make sure you're well taken care of. You're in a bad way. You really need the care they can provide there, and you need it right now, okay?" He smiled his best smile at her trying to put her at ease, hoping some of the famous Gage charm everyone teased him about would work. He held up the IV set up that Roy had handed him to show her he was going to start it and prayed she would stop fighting them.

Donna rolled towards her brother and then practically threw her arms around him. She began to cry softly against his lap while he held her, murmuring softly to her and shushing her gently. After a bit he whispered something into her ear, and she nodded.

Still holding her, Andrew nodded toward the paramedics. "She says to do whatever you need to do," he said quietly, stroking his sister's hair as she continued to cry against him.

Relief flooded the hearts and minds of the paramedics. Now they could take care of her. Roy began to look at the large bruise on Andrew's head and check his pupils while Johnny asked Donna one last time, "How are you feeling? Do you have any physical pains or discomforts right now?"

"I feel… like I'm gonna be sick."

Johnny quickly and efficiently got the IV started that would start to improve the shockiness. Roy got an ice pack for Andrew's head while Johnny got ready to take Donna's blood pressure again on her other arm.

Donna had untangled herself from her brother, although he kept his hand on her shoulder. Her eyes were half-closed, although the expression was more resigned than anything else. Some of the fear still lingered on her face, though. "I don't know, it hurts… down _there_," she murmured. "Maybe a little bit in my abdomen too."

Johnny explained what he was doing as he prepared to take her blood pressure again. As he squeezed the bulb he could hear Dr. Brackett's voice from the biophone demanding a response and an update. Roy waited for the reading from Johnny as he took her pulse. He again watched her chest rise and fall to count respirations. After that he got up to return to the biophone.

Johnny talked to her. "There now. That wasn't so bad, now was it? We're gonna have the stretcher brought in now and get you ready to go to the hospital. Your brother can ride along with you and I'll ride with you, okay?"

"Rampart, Squad 51, sorry for the delay," Roy apologized to the doctor who's voice had continued barking at him for a response.

Doctor Brackett responded sharply. "Go ahead 51!"

"Rampart, patient has finally consented to treatment. She is shocky but has not lost consciousness. IV was established a couple-a minutes ago. There has been no change in BP, her pulse has gone down to 90 and respirations are normal. She has some vaginal bleeding that appears to be minimal and is complaining of some pain there some pain in her abdomen."

"10-4 51. Continue to monitor vitals and transport immediately."

"Monitor vitals and transport. 10-4" Roy hung up the biophone. He went to the door and summoned the ambulance attendants in so they could transport their patient.

Johnny smiled at Donna. "Let's get you on your way, shall we?"

**Thank you for your continued interest in this story. Please leave comments or reviews. If you prefer to leave private messages, they are always welcome too. Thank you. -Hotflash**

7


	5. Chapter 5

**Star Light Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 5**

**This is the second and final chapter I co-authored with TehMarishal.**

Donna lay flat on the stretcher, her head pressed against a soft, flat pillow. The afghan that Roy had given her in her house was draped over her now, and she had to resist the urge to curl up and bury herself in it. She'd already been warned that she shouldn't move around too much, not with an IV in her arm, and especially not if she had injuries. Being strapped down was difficult and scary for her but the paramedics explained it was necessary for transport.

One of the paramedics was in the ambulance with her, along with her brother. For a little while Andrew kept murmuring softly to her, offering her re-assurances, even vowing to hunt down and kill the person who did this to her himself. After a few minutes though she began to withdraw into herself a little, even pulling her hand out of his. She then closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. After a few deep breaths she opened her eyes, staying somewhat alert yet trying to tune out the world around her at the same time.

Feelings swarmed around inside of her so quickly that it was hard to make sense of her thoughts or feelings. Images kept intruding her mind, instigating the whirlwind of emotions within her. She wished that she could simply shut everything out, to retreat into a dark black place inside her mind, yet she didn't want to go there. If she passed out or went to sleep, she wouldn't be alert. She wouldn't be in control.

Part of her was vaguely aware of Andrew muttering. "I don't want you to look at my bruise," he snapped at the paramedic.

A small part of Donna's mind tried to remember which paramedic had come into the ambulance with them, just to give her consciousness something to focus on. Who was it? Roy or John?

"Awright, now. I just wanted to check on the swelling. You could have a concussion," said the voice of paramedic John Gage.

"It's her you should worry about, not me," Andrew growled. Then he sighed. "I should have killed that bastard when I had the chance," he said for what was possibly the one-hundredth time that night. "I had my hands around his throat and I could have crushed his windpipe, I know I could have! But I hesitated and that gave him a chance to get the better of me…"

"I'm doing everything I can for your sister right now. She's going to need you more than ever. If you're hurt, you won't be there for her. Now I know you want to get even, to protect her. But then you'd be in jail and she'd be alone. Now you don't want that do you? Whaddya say? Can I please take a look at you?"

Johnny looked down at his primary patient. Her eyes were open yet she was withdrawn. Still, he was sure she was keenly aware of every move he made.

Andrew glanced in Donna's direction, obviously thinking over the paramedics' words. Finally he sighed softly, and then nodded. "Okay," he murmured, looking back at Gage. "I think my head is okay, but my nose is broken. Just so you know."

"That's it," praised the paramedic. "Now I'm gonna shine this light in your eyes, one at a time. Just stare straight ahead." Johnny flicked the light across each eye a couple of times watching for the pupils to constrict and dilate. "All right, that's good. Normal responses. That's a real good sign." John offered a small smile in Andrew's direction then checked on Donna.

"How're you doing, Donna? We're almost there."

Donna's eyes darted briefly in his direction, then resumed staring upward at the ceiling.

Andrew gave her a concerned frown. He leaned forward and reached out to touch her arm. "You okay?" he asked gently. Any anger he'd expressed during his ongoing rantathon about the attacker was mostly gone at the moment, replaced by concern for his sister.

The woman closed her eyes briefly. She opened her mouth, as if thinking about saying something, then closed it again.

"Hey now it's gonna be okay," Andrew said, flashing an attempt at a re-assuring smile. The smile faded when she didn't say anything.

"Ok, that nose probably IS broken," John agreed. "They'll take a look at it and I'm sure they'll want pictures at the hospital. But it can wait until things calm down a little, I'm sure."

"I'm not leaving my sister," Andrew murmured, leaning back a bit. "I don't like hospitals very much anyway. Mostly I'm just going for my sister's sake." He added his sentiment a bit more quietly, as if not wanting Donna to hear.

"I understand," John said. He wasn't going to argue with a patient, especially one protecting another patient. He'd let the hospital staff deal with that. "I'm sure I'd feel the same way if she was my sister."

A few bumpy and sharp turns later the ambulance came to a stop.

Donna sensed that they had arrived mostly when the motion of the ambulance stopped, and the noisy sound of sirens cut off. "Looks like we're here," she heard Andrew's voice say, confirming her assumption.

She glanced around herself. Her eyes locked onto the paramedic a moment, and then her brother. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she said suddenly. "I'm not sure if I really want to go in there." Her eyes were growing wider with apprehension.

"Come on now, you really should go in, you NEED to let them take care of you," Andrew insisted a bit sharply, then mentally reminded himself that he needed to be gentle. She wasn't in the best mind right now; she was in shock and emotionally disturbed. She could not be expected to think rationally, and the last thing she needed was to be pressured, or worse, given orders or forced to do something.

Because she'd already been forced into the very worst thing that could ever happen to a person.

She inhaled a deep breath, one that sounded almost like a gasp.

"Donna I'm sorry," Andrew added quickly, dropping down onto his knees and touching her arm. "I'm sorry. I…" He trailed off, as if unsure what to say. He looked like he was slowing succumbing to emotion himself.

"I know you're scared," Johnny said. "Your brother will be with you and I promise you, you can have a woman do the exam. Nurse McCall is on duty and she will take good care of you. Why don't you take a few deep breaths and gather yourself, then on three we're gonna take you in there, okay?"

The doors to the ambulance started to open as the driver had come around back but John put a hand up to tell him to wait as soon as the driver could see him.

Donna squeezed her eyes shut, inhaling deeply and exhaling. She felt dazed, as if all of this were a nightmare, something that happened in stories or at least to other people. But it had happened to her. Somehow part of her just couldn't wrap her mind around that fact.

But the proof was all around her, wasn't it? She hurt, she'd been looked over by paramedics, and now she was in an ambulance about to go into the hospital. This was no dream. If only it was a nightmare, she could wake up and escape it. But there was no escaping this.

"Donna," her brother's voice broke into her thoughts, "please, will you let them take care of you?"

Another part of Donna's brain kicked in then, reminding her that she couldn't simply stay in the ambulance forever. That wouldn't help anything at all. Nor would it change anything. "Okay," she finally said with a slight nod, then resumed staring heavenward.

"That's it. They're gonna take real good care of you here. Ready? One... Two... Three." Johnny motioned to the driver to help him now and together they withdrew the stretcher from the ambulance. Roy had just arrived and poked his head in after Donna was out to offer a hand to Andrew as he climbed out. He got out of the way fast so that Andrew could stay along side of her and hold her hand.

Just inside the doors, Dixie was waiting anxiously to get her first glimpse of a patient she knew must be frightened. When she saw her she spoke reassuringly and firmly.

"You're going to be okay now. You're safe. Take her to treatment two, boys. It's all set up. I've got a counselor on the way."

Donna squeezed Andrew's hand, gripping it tightly as if for dear life. She found her gaze staying on Dixie for a moment though, even as the others proceeded to wheel her into one of the rooms.

After they passed through the door into the treatment room, Donna turned to look at Andrew, who was still holding her hand. "She reminds me a little of Mama," Donna whispered, so softly that her brother had to strain to hear.

Andrew blinked a little, glanced over his shoulder in the direction they'd come from, then turned back to his sister. A small smile spread across his lips. "Yeah I guess she does," he murmured. "She even sounded like her a little."

Dixie followed her patient, both patients actually, into the treatment room. She approached Donna carefully and took the hand her brother wasn't holding between both of hers.

"Donna, I'm Dixie. I know you've been through a lot but I promise you, the worst of it is over. But I'm not going to lie to you; this isn't going to be a picnic either." Dixie proceeded to tell her what the exam would consist of and what evidence they would be attempting to gather. She could see that her young patient was uncomfortable with the idea, understandably, but she did her best to reassure her and comfort her, promising to go slow and be gentle and talk to her through every step. She promised that she would stay through the entire process and that she would make sure a female doctor was brought in to make her more comfortable.

"I think it would be a good idea though, if your brother went and got checked out while we work with you. This is something I think you'd feel better about keeping private and his nose looks pretty bad. We could get you both taken care of at the same time. So, what do you say? Will you be brave for me?"

Donna looked at Andrew, who looked back at her. Obviously he was leaving the decision up to her. Donna looked back at Dixie, then nodded slowly. "Okay," she whispered. She looked back at her brother. "You should probably get that fixed up," she murmured. "No offense but you look awful." She did not smile, at least not with her lips, but there was just a trace of humor in her eyes. Most likely only her brother, who knew her so well, noticed though.

Andrew smiled a tight smile, then nodded. "Yeah, okay. I'll be back to check on you once I'm through though, okay?"

"Okay," Donna murmured.

Dixie poked her head out the door and called to the nearest nurse she saw. "Sharon, will you take this gentleman to treatment four? Have Doctor Brackett take a look at his nose and get Dr. Varner for Donna."

"Right away," Sharon answered. "Will you please come with me?" she said to Andrew.

When the two of them had left the room Dixie asked Donna if she had any questions for her while they waited for Dr. Varner.

Donna was silent for a moment. She seemed to be thinking about something. Finally she looked directly at Dixie and softly asked, "Will it hurt, and how long will it take?"

"It should be less than 30 minutes though it could take longer. It just depends on what we find. It will be uncomfortable, but it shouldn't hurt unless we find injuries that we are not expecting, then I cannot promise, but we'll be as gentle as possible and you just tell us if you're feeling any pain, okay?" She smiled at her patient as she spoke.

Donna did not smile back, but she nodded simply. A couple of moments later, another woman entered the room and introduced herself as Dr. Varner. She approached Donna's bedside calmly, offering a gentle smile of reassurance, then began to speak softly as she prepared to begin the examination.

Meanwhile, in room four, Andrew was… well, being a rather impatient patient. "Look, Doc," the red-haired man growled a little, "can't you just look at it and figure out what's wrong without touching it? I don't like it when somebody touches me where it's bleeding. It HURTS. You're a doc, you should know that."

"Look, I'm a doctor. It's my job to examine an injury and make a diagnosis then treat it to the best of my ability. I can't help you if I can't look at it, and that will include touching your nose. I'm sorry." Kel tried to be gentle about it, but he was irritated at what a wuss this big linebacker-looking patient was being.

"I can give you a little pain medication but I've got to look and touch to take care of that nose, all right?"

Andrew turned his head away, grimacing. "This is why I don't like hospitals," he grumbled. "All the poking, prodding, stabbing of needles, touching things that hurt… make me want to just let things get better on their own." He scowled at the doctor. "Are you a Dr. Frankenstein?" he jibed.

"NO Mr. Fletcher, I most certainly am NOT a Dr. Frankenstein. Now quit being such a big baby and let me take a look at that nose!" Doctor Brackett's feathers had been ruffled now!

Andrew looked up at the doctor from where he sat, on the edge of the bed. He frowned a little, and something about the way his eyes looked, along with the corners of his lips turned downward beneath his bloody nose, made him look not like a strong, grown man, but like a preschooler who'd gotten into a fight and was now being scolded by Daddy.

"Who's a big baby?" he moaned. And somehow his tone only added to the child-like look.

Doctor Brackett was very annoyed but this was so pitiful it was almost funny. He suppressed a grin, took a deep breath and tried again.

"I'm sorry. I know you're not a baby, but for Pete's sake let me take care of that thing."

"Well…" Andrew sighed, then spread his arms in sort of a resigned shrug. "Fine. Just… don't poke at it too much." He then proceeded to stare straight ahead, though at least he kept his head still.

"Now that's more like it. Do you want a shot for the pain or do you want to just get this over with?"

Andrew scowled but didn't move. "Don't be a vampire," he grumbled. "Just look at my nose."

"All right." Doctor Brackett carefully examined his patient's nose. He had no doubt it was broken. He told his patient he would need to x-ray it before he could treat it and then proceeded to take a closer look at the bump on his forehead.

"X-ray?" Andrew exclaimed, shaking his head and interfering with the doctor's examination. "You mean you're gonna put my face up against one of those radioactive machines? I've heard those are dangerous." He paused for half a second. "Not that I've ever seen one before," he added quickly.

"Mr. Fletcher, may I remind you that this is a hospital and I am a doctor? We are not in the business of putting our patients in harm's way." As an irresistible after thought he added, "And besides, it will only make you glow for a little while!" He couldn't suppress the smile when he said it.

The red-hair's eyes widened. "My whole face, or just my nose?" he asked in wonder.

"Your whole head! But it will only hurt a little." He smiled again, obviously trying to lighten up this brave giant.

Andrew seemed to consider what the doctor was saying very seriously. "Wow," he finally breathed. "And you do stuff like that all the time?"

"All the time." Doctor Brackett knew the red haired giant would consent. He opened the door and summoned the nearest nurse. "Please get an orderly to take Mr. Fletcher to x-ray." He told the nurse what views he wanted and turned back to the patient.

"Seriously, x-ray won't hurt at all. And if you're really good, I'll give you a lollipop when you get back."

Once again, Andrew seemed to consider his words. "Okay sure," he nodded.

"Good man." Doctor Brackett barely resisted the urge to say "good boy."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Dixie was waiting for Donna to return from the restroom. She thought maybe she ought to check on her, she'd been in there an awfully long time. Then again, after what she'd just been through, that really wasn't such a surprise. Still it had been nearly 15 minutes.

"Excuse me," she said to the student nurse who was nervously yammering away in her ear. She turned and headed straight for the restroom. She knocked on the door. No answer.

"Donna? Are you okay in there?" Still no answer. She tried the door. It opened to reveal... nothing. It was empty.

"Son of a..." she didn't finish. She turned and went straight to the desk, calling security. She made the report of a missing patient then went to find Dr. Varner.

She found her a few minutes later, exiting treatment room 1.

"Dr. Varner," she said. She was nervous but she didn't let it show. "I'm afraid our patient has bolted."

"How did that happen?" Dr. Varner asked, irritation in her voice.

"She slipped out during a visit to the rest room. I was distracted by a student nurse and when I realized she had been gone a long time, I checked and she'd somehow managed to slip out. I've informed security."

Dr. Varner sighed. She knew Dixie took her job seriously. Sometimes the best of them had something or someone slip by.

"It's okay Dixie. Thank you for telling me. I guess now I get to tell her brother."

"You want me to handle it?" offered Dixie.

"No, you have other duties to attend to. I'll take care of it."

With that, Dr. Varner headed back to find Mr. Fletcher.

She found him just finishing up with treatment from Dr. Brackett.

Dr. Varner stepped into the room after taking a deep breath. "Excuse me, Dr. Brackett, could I see you for just a minute?"

Dr. Brackett was preparing to release the patient, but was distracted by Dr. Varner. Noticing her concerned tone, Kel momentarily turned his back on Andrew, who was still seated on the edge of the stretcher. "Sure," he said, stepping away from the side of the bed, though not too far away from his patient. "What is it?" he asked quietly, not quite noticing Mr. Fletcher's eyes trained on the back of him. He was also unaware of the patient's keen hearing.

Doctor Varner took another deep breath and stepped toward the corner of the room farthest from the patient and waited for Kel to join her. When he did she whispered.

"I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem. Donna Fletcher has gone AWOL."

Dr. Brackett blinked, then his eyes narrowed. "AWOL?" he echoed, in a mixture of surprise and irritation.

Andrew didn't hear the female doctor's whisper, but he did overhear Brackett's somewhat louder exclamation.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. She sneaked out of the restroom when Dixie was talking with one of her student nurses."

Mr. Fletcher DID managed to catch that, at least most of it. "Excuse me, who went AWOL?" he demanded, getting up off the bed and taking a step toward them. "Was it my sister?"

"Mr. Fletcher," Brackett began, but was cut off.

"No I want to know," Andrew said, then took another couple of steps forward, looking directly at Dr. Varner. "You, I want to know what you're whispering about. Was it my sister? Did she leave?"

Dr. Varner lowered her eyes for just a moment then made eye contact with the growling bear of a man in front of her. "Yes. She slipped out when she went to the bathroom."

Andrew's eyes narrowed and his features grew dangerous. Somehow the bloody nose and the bruise on his forehead simply made him look all the more intimidating. His large hands clenched at his sides and he scowled at both doctors, but mostly at Dr. Varner. "How could you let her escape right under your nose like that? What kind of an incompetent bitch are you?" He took another step closer, closing in the distance between them. "You don't even have ANY idea where she went? You should have been watching her!"

"Now wait just a minute!" Growled Dr. Brackett. "I will not tolerate you speaking to one of my doctors like that. Let's just hear what she has to say and then we can start to figure this out!" He stepped between his patient and his doctor in a protective gesture.

"Alright," Andrew growled, folding his arms across his chest and glowering down at Dr. Varner. "Tell me what happened to her exactly."

"Very well. We had just completed the exam and treated her injuries. She had been reluctant to speak with the crisis counselor until after the exam so while I was informing the counselor that she could meet with your sister, Donna asked to use the restroom. While she was in the restroom, Nurse McCall had to deal with an upset nurse in the hall and she didn't see your sister slip out. She called security as soon as she realized your sister was gone."

"Well shit load of good that does since she's already GONE!" Andrew bellowed. "Did it not occur to either of you to ask someone ELSE to watch out for her while you were both busy? Sounds to me like you're ASKING for people to wander off!"

"Mr. Fletcher, you are out of line!" Dr. Brackett bellowed.

Dixie heard the yelling from her desk at the nurses' station. She made a beeline for the treatment room and walked right in.

"Excuse me Dr. Varner, we have an emergency in treatment room 5," she said firmly.

Kel turned to his doctor and said, "Go! I've got this," grateful that his head nurse was right on cue.

The large, red-haired man was still fuming where he stood. "I'm leaving this hospital RIGHT NOW," he shouted. "I'm gonna go out there and find my sister myself!" He stamped his foot, making a move toward the door.

"She's probably on her way home to a long hot shower," Dixie offered. "That is what most sexual assault victims do first. I would suggest you get your temper under control before you see her. She needs your patience and understanding more than anything. Anger is only going to make things worse!" Dixie had a knack for telling things like they were.

"She wouldn't go home," Andrew growled, grabbing the door handle and swinging it open. He paused, glowering over his shoulder at them both. "I know a couple places she'd go, and it's not to her house. I'm going to find her myself." It was almost as if he hadn't heard Dixie.

As Andrew Fletcher stomped out the door, Dixie muttered a parting shot. "Knock yourself out, Champ."

Kel turned to face Dixie. "Thanks for the save."

"Don't mention it. I'm sorry she got away from me."

"Dix, we both know it wasn't your fault. She's a grown woman. She had the right to leave any time she wanted to."

"I know, Kel. I just don't like that it happened on my watch." She started to head out the door. "I'm getting a cup of coffee. Care to join me?"

"Don't mind if I do," he answered and the two of them headed off to the lounge together. It had already been a very long day.

**Thank you for reading this story. Please leave any comments, questions or suggestions by clicking on the green feedback button below or, if you are more comfortable in doing so, please feel free to send me private messages. Thank you. -Hotflash**

8


	6. Chapter 6

**Star Light Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 6**

When the cab pulled up to the house, Donna glanced at the meter and sighed. That had been an expensive ride. The driver turned around and looked at her expectantly over his shoulder.

"Uh, my purse is in the house. I'll have to go get it," she said.

The driver rolled his eyes and gave a quick, jerky nod. Donna couldn't get out of the car fast enough. Inside it she felt like she was a prisoner.

When Donna got to the front door, she realized that because her purse hadn't been taken to the hospital with her, she also didn't have keys. She sighed loudly in exasperation and headed to the back porch. When she got there, she lifted the planter on the bottom step to retrieve the spare key that should have been hidden there. To her dismay, it wasn't. She started to become alarmed until she looked up and realized that nobody had bothered to close the back door before she had been hauled off to the hospital.

Donna quickly entered the house to retrieve her purse. As she entered the living room she began to feel panicky as visions of her ordeal began to flood her mind. She didn't realize she was crying until she heard the guttural sound come forth from her own mouth.

After great effort, she remembered where her purse was, retrieved enough cash to pay the cabby and headed fearfully out the front door, wiping her tears away with her hands. Before she stepped out of the yard, she went to the corner of the fence where the paramedics had tied up Bull, her dog.

"Bully, here boy! It's okay," she said, as the dog got excited upon seeing her. She untied the rope from the fence and took him with her to pay the cabby. One look at Bull and the cabby was more than ready to leave. He opened the passenger window only an inch or two and leaned across the front seat to accept the money from Donna. As soon as she had stepped away from the cab, the driver pulled out quickly. Donna then took Bull in the house with her and let him loose just as soon as she had locked the front door, both the lock on the doorknob and the deadbolt. While Bull made his usual rounds checking out the house, Donna checked to make sure each and every window was locked and double checked the back and front doors.

Now that she was home, all Donna wanted was a long hot shower. She felt as though she could still feel his disgusting body on hers and swore she could smell the scent of him on her clothes.

As Donna closed the bathroom door, she got the first full look at herself since the attack. She had already seen her bruised and swollen face in the bathroom mirror at Rampart but now she got the whole view. She was shocked at the site of the woman reflected back at her from the full-length mirror.

She stared hard at her head and face. Her hair was tangled and wild. The bruising around her eyes was already blue and black, making her sort of look like she was wearing a mask. Her cheeks were swollen and dark blue and purple as well. Her jaw ached and throbbed where he had punched her hard making her think her teeth would all fall out. Her lips were swollen and cut as well. She looked like something out of a horror movie.

Looking down her reflection she noticed red and darker bruising on her neck and chest where it showed above her blouse. Slowly she unbuttoned the blouse and slid it off, dropping it to the floor. She removed her brassiere as well. Her arms were bruised where he had held them down and where she had deflected some of his blows. Her ribs were covered with bruises too but thankfully, Dr. Varner had said none were broken.

Moving gingerly, Donna removed the rest of her clothing and staring at her bruised and naked body she began to sob uncontrollably. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and put her head in her hands as she cried. After a few moments, the sobbing lessoned and she stood up with resolve to wash him off of her.

She set the shower as hot as it would go and stepped in. The water burned on her skin but she didn't care. Using a manicure brush, she scrubbed her body raw with soap and water and didn't stop scrubbing until the shower was too cold for her to bear it any longer.

When she had dried off, she dressed quickly. She wore jeans with a belt, a tank top, covered by a tee shirt and a sweatshirt over that. She covered her feet with socks but did not put shoes on. After dressing she returned to the bathroom and brushed her hair, pulling it back in a ponytail loosely, still damp. She picked up her clothes off the bathroom floor and took them straight to the trash.

Looking around her, Donna didn't feel safe. The attack had happened in her own home, with her very protective dog in the yard. Her brother, whom she lived with, had been late getting home from his work as a nighttime gas station attendant. Now she was home alone again, with her dog beside her. She was exhausted and wanted sleep, but she was afraid to close her eyes. She went to her room and lay down on the bed on her side. Bull followed her in and although he usually wasn't allowed, she invited him up on the bed with her. He moved in close to her and lay down so that their bodies were touching. He was a comfort to her and the warmth of him up against her finally helped her fall asleep.

The loud slamming of the front door and the subsequent bark from Bull jolted her awake and she screamed. Her eyes were wide with terror as her over tired brain tried to process what was happening. In only a moment the door to her room flew open and she screamed again. Bull started barking because her screams confused him, adding to her terror.

Andrew realized his mistake too late. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he kept saying it over and over trying to be heard over his sister's screaming. He wanted to reach out to her and hold her to calm her but he realized that would be a mistake given her frame of mind and what she'd been through.

_How could I have been so stupid? _He silently kicked himself for frightening her when he barged in on her. He had just been so worried when she had bolted from the hospital that he didn't think of what it must be like for her. As Donna's screams started to run out of steam he spoke firmly and told her, "Donna, it's me, Andrew!" He had to repeat himself three times before it registered and she stopped screaming. She stared at him blankly for a moment and then she lashed out in anger.

"How could you just come in here and scare me like that?" She demanded. "What were you thinking? You big jerk!" She pummeled him in frustration and fear as she yelled at him. It took every ounce of self-restraint in him not to grab her and hold her wrists to stop the pummeling. Finally she stopped and put her hands over her face and just cried.

Andrew put his hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Donna, I'm so sorry." Gradually he slid his hand toward the center of her back and gently encouraged her to let him hold her. He put his other arm around her and she buried her face into his shoulder, crying uncontrollably. Andrew held her and rocked her a bit as he did so, repeating softly, "It's all right. Let it out. You're safe now." After a while he nudged her back towards the bed and got her to lie down. He sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back gently as she lay on her side and eventually, she fell back to sleep. Leaving Bull in the room, he left, closing her door behind him.

* * *

It had been nearly three hours since Johnny and Roy had returned from the call that had interrupted their lunch. Surprisingly, they hadn't had any other calls so far. Johnny had been unusually quiet all afternoon, a fact that had not gone unnoticed around the station.

Chet, picking up on how down both Roy and John had seemed upon returning, had tried unsuccessfully to get a rise out of his favorite pigeon all afternoon. He decided to make one last ditch effort. He was alone in the day room so he went to the cupboard and took out a glass. He filled it with water all the way to the very top. He walked over the refrigerator, giving the room a once over on the way to make sure no one saw him. Seeing no one, he set the glass on top and pushed it back a few inches. He admired his handy work and made sure that it looked empty, which it did. Perfect.

Chet stepped away from the refrigerator and walked back to the sink. From his pocket he took a roll of black electrical tape and loosened the end. Then he grabbed the sprayer hose from the sink. He pulled it out and held the handle down, with the water still off. Then he wrapped the tape around the black handle and slid the hose back in place. Carefully he adjusted it so that the sprayer was aimed right toward whomever would be standing in front of the sink.

Once he was satisfied with his work, he walked over to the couch where he could pretend to read the newspaper while he waited for his pigeon to fall into his trap. Unfortunately, Cap was the next man to walk into the room and he was headed straight for the cupboard.

_Uh oh_, thought Chet. Thinking quickly he engaged his captain in conversation. "Hey Cap, thirsty? How 'bout some iced tea?" Chet suggested. _Don't touch the sink… PLEASE don't touch the sink!_

"Oh, no. I was just getting some water to take a couple of aspirins with. I've got a whopper of a headache," said Hank.

"Well, Cap, you know what I read the other day?" Chet's distraction stopped the captain. He turned around and leaned against the sink counter, facing his lineman.

"No, honestly I don't but I'm guessing you're about to tell me," he answered.

"Well, I read that it's better to take aspirins with milk, on account of aspiring tears up the stomach when it's empty. Milk helps coat the stomach and makes things better."

"No kidding?" said Hank. "Well, a glass of milk does sound pretty good right now. I think I'll try it and see for myself." With that he walked over to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass. If he noticed the glass on top of the refrigerator, he didn't say anything. After he gulped down half the glass, he capped it off and headed for his office.

"Whew, that was close!" Chet said quietly to himself. It wasn't long after that Johnny walked in, followed by Roy. It was Johnny's turn to cook and Roy had followed him in hoping to get him to talk about what ever was bugging him. He had a feeling he knew, but if Johnny didn't talk about it, he would stew all night and nobody would get any sleep.

The first thing Johnny did was walk to the sink to wash his hands. He reached for the faucet and turned on the water sending a jet of water straight at him from the booby-trapped sprayer hose. His shirt turned a bright, darker blue as the water penetrated the fibers. Johnny didn't jump or yelp or respond much at all. He just hung his head a moment while Roy reached over and shut the water off.

"I see the juvenile delinquents have been here," he commented. He knew this wasn't going to improve Johnny's mood any.

"Yeah, looks that way." Johnny said.

Chet had been watching from behind the newspaper, ready to suppress unmanly giggles, but due to Johnny's reaction, or lack there of, there weren't any to suppress. He watched with concern as the pigeon went from one trap to the next.

Roy tossed Johnny a towel off the fridge handle and Johnny sopped up some of the water from his shirt and wiped up the water that had hit the floor. He stepped over to the fridge to hang the sopping wet towel up to dry and noticed the glass on top. Without giving it a thought he reached up for it, just as Roy noticed what he was doing.

"Johnny, don't!" he warned, but it was too late. Johnny had wrapped his hand around the glass and pulled it down splashing the water onto his head and face. He stood there a moment, water dripping from his hair into his face and off his nose to the floor. He kept his eyes closed for a moment and then opened them and wiped the excess water out of them with the back of his empty hand.

Roy watched him and was surprised to see not anger, frustration or indignity. All he saw was resignation. Johnny looked at him and then said, "Man am I dumb. Those are two of the oldest tricks in the book and I fell for both of them, hook, line and sinker." His voice was as dull and lifeless as his expression.

Roy grabbed two more towels out of one of the kitchen drawers and handed one to Johnny as he tossed the other one on the floor to start soaking up the mess. Johnny dried his head off a bit then excused himself to change his shirt. As soon as he stepped out Roy looked at Chet.

"Nice going, Ace," He said.

"What's eating your partner, Roy? I've never seen him so dull and lifeless before… At least not when he was conscious!"

"Well, I'm not sure exactly, but we had a pretty bad run this morning and I think that might have something to do with it. Just give him some space, will you?"

"Yeah, sure thing Roy. I'm sorry. Usually the Phantom's antics snap him right out of his funks." Chet was truly sorry to see his friend obviously hurting about something. As much as he gave Johnny a hard time, he really liked him.

Before Roy could say anything else, the klaxons went off again and he jogged over to the squad stopping at the mic to acknowledge the call. "Squad 51 KMG365" he said into the mic and then hopped in and started it up as Johnny hopped into the passenger side, shirt still unbuttoned.

Mike already had the door rolling up before Roy had finished on the radio and the squad sped off lights and sirens to the next rescue.

* * *

Roy and Johnny were sitting in the doctor's lounge at Rampart having a cup of coffee before heading back to the station. Their call had been a fairly routine chest pain call. They had hooked their patient up to the monitor, given meds and monitored during transport. This time the patient had been lucky. His wife called at the first sign of trouble. Too often patients waited until it was too late.

"It's a good thing that Mr. Dean's wife called us when she did. The doc said he's going to be fine after a little surgery to clear some blockages," said Roy.

"Yeah, it could have been a whole lot worse if they'd have waited," agreed Johnny with more liveliness than Roy had seen most of the day.

One thing about Johnny, when he was on a call he was all business, personal life aside. But the call was over and he was still looking alive. This was a good sign and Roy took advantage of it. He looked at Johnny closely. His posture was one of weariness and he knew that whatever was eating Johnny was taking a toll on him physically. Roy set his coffee cup down and cleared his throat a little.

"Johnny?"

Johnny stared into his coffee cup and didn't look up. "Huh?"

"I want to talk to you about what's been bothering you." Roy was soft spoken but direct. "I'm worried about you."

Johnny looked up at his friend and could see the concern on his face. "Aw, Roy, I'm fine. It's just…" he shook his head and looked down into his coffee cup again.

"It's just what, Johnny?" Roy prodded.

"You know earlier, when I was talking about kids, and family, and all that?"

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"It just seems so… I don't know… unimportant." He looked back up at Roy as he continued. "I mean, I'm not saying your family isn't important it's just that… That girl… That call we went on this morning… Roy, she's got problems to deal with and all I was thinking about was myself. But now… " He stopped talking again.

Roy waited a moment and then prodded gently again. "Now what?"

"Now I can't stop thinking about her. How scared she was and how hurt she was… I… I wanted to find the jerk that did that to her and rip him apart with my bare hands. I still want to. And somehow, I want to make things right for her. I don't know how I… How anyone ever could. And I don't even know her, Roy but I can't stop thinking about her."

"Johnny, I know you care about the people we help, that's what makes you good at what you do, but you're forgetting rule number one," Roy said.

"Yeah, I _know_! _Never get hung up on a patient. _Too late Roy… I already did."

***Okay, there it is… the first chapter on my own. Because this story started so heavily with OC's, it is a real challenge to write. Still, I feel compelled to write it and see it through. Please be advised that I am working full time and starting EMT school in less than a week so I may be posting very sporadically, but I promise not to abandon this story. I am looking forward to your comments and your suggestions. Please take a minute to leave me a review or feel free to contact me through a private message if you are more comfortable doing so. -Hotflash**


	7. Chapter 7

**Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 7**

_This Chapter has been revised to correct some very minor indiscrepancies in the story line._

*** Warning: Memories of violence are discussed in this chapter, I will warn you at the beginning. I will leave a row of asterisks at the end of the section for anyone who may wish to skip it.**

Donna awoke suddenly, sitting bolt upright. Bull lifted his head, instantly alert. Donna felt her heart pounding ant that familiar rush of adrenaline running through her. It took her a moment to slow down as she slowly realized she was in her own room, alone except for the dog.

She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She didn't realize she was rocking back and forth. Slowly it began to sink in that, for the moment at least, she was safe and her tears began to fall. She was in considerable pain from all of the bruises that covered her. Before long she was crying hard and loudly.

Bull kept trying to comfort her as best he could. He wasn't having much luck as he rubbed his head on her hands trying to get her to pet him or put her arm around him, so he started licking her arm where the tears had cascaded down and landed. After several moments, Donna finally acknowledged Bull's efforts and she put her arms around his muscular, furry body and hugged him like a giant teddy bear for several minutes.

When Donna stopped crying again, she let go of Bull and used her blanket to wipe her eyes. Slowly she got up from the bed and left her room. Bull stayed protectively by her side. Donna walked through her living room on her way to the kitchen. As she passed through, her mind flashed back to the brutal attack she had endured hours earlier.

**WARNING: Flashback starts here and will end with ***********

All at once Donna's heart began to race and she began breathing rapidly. She started to feel like she was suffocating as she re-lived in her mind all that she had been through. It was as though it was happening all over again. She could her him yelling at her and felt each blow as he punched her repeatedly in the chest, arms and face. "Stay down and shut up you stupid…" she heard him yelling. "You know you want it!"

It was like she was in two different time zones at the same time. This flashback felt real, like it was happening all over again yet part of her was on the outside of it all, watching it happen like some horrible movie. Her hands and feet were growing numb. Her chest hurt and she felt like she could not breathe. She picked up the phone in a panic and as soon as she heard a voice on the other end she gasped, "Help me!"

The voice on the other end remained calm as he tried to talk to her and ask her questions. In broken sentences between gasps she managed to give her address before passing out, hitting her head on the coffee table on the way down.

The klaxons blared loudly waking up the men of Station 51 from their early morning slumber. Johnny was the only exception. He had awakened during the night and had not been able to go back to sleep. He tried, but he just couldn't stop thinking about the fear in the eyes of the woman he had seen on his first run of the day. He had seen that same look of fear before, a long time ago, and had been helpless to do anything about it.

"Squad 51, respond to an unknown type rescue at 8635 Rosemont. Police have been dispatched and will be responding. 8-6-3-5 Rosemont. Time out 03:08"

Johnny and Roy jumped into their bunker pants pulling the suspenders over their shoulders on their way into the apparatus bay. Roy stopped at the radio to acknowledge the call and record the address and then the two paramedics raced off in their squad running lights, no sirens. As they approached major intersections Roy would flick the sirens on to warn traffic of their presence but he shut them off when he could; no need to wake up sleeping residents.

"Roy, I got a bad feeling about this. That's the same address we went to this morning," Johnny said.

"Yeah, I know," was all Roy responded.

As the squad pulled up alongside the curb in front of the house, Johnny looked for the dog. He didn't see him. Roy spoke into the mike and reported the squad on scene.

"Squad 51, wait for police response to clear the scene."

Roy and Johnny exchanged glances. Someone needed help. The hardest thing to do was sit and wait. Thankfully they didn't have to wait long. As Roy acknowledged the order they saw lights come around the corner a block ahead and then the police cruiser came to an abrupt halt as two uniformed officers jumped out and hustled to the front door.

The officers banged on the door but got no answer even when they announced their presence loudly, though they could hear a dog barking loudly. Carefully they peered into the windows but saw nothing. They circled the house in opposite directions until one of them looked in a window and saw Donna lying on the floor. After looking closely for signs of anyone else one of them broke a window on the back door and reached in and opened the door. The two officers dashed in to clear the scene as Johnny and Roy hopped out and started gathering equipment to haul in. They knew they were jumping the gun a bit but every second could count.

When the first officer stepped inside Bull ran right up to him and barked wildly. The officer was no stranger to big dogs. He had one of his own and he showed no fear. "Easy boy, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said calmly, hands at his sides. Bull continued barking and stepped closer to him causing his partner to back up slowly. "He's good," the first officer said to the second. "He's not gonna hurt us." Slowly he reached out palm down to let the dog sniff him. Bull sniffed and then turned and ran back to his mistress lying on the floor. The officers made a quick sweep of the house and then one went to the phone.

A moment later one of the officers opened the front door and waved the paramedics in. The two paramedics hightailed it inside carrying the trauma box, drug box, biophone and oxygen with them. As they entered, the other officer was requesting an ambulance be dispatched. When he got off the phone he went to the dog and slipped his hand through the collar, gently pulling him away from the woman on the floor. "Easy boy, come on. Let 'em get to her." Slowly and gently he coaxed the dog away from her and put him in the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Bull started barking wildly but it didn't matter to them anymore.

To Roy and Johnny, the room looked pretty much the same as it had when they had left it earlier. As they took in the scene they could see Donna was unconscious and had fallen near the couch. It looked likely she had hit her head on the coffee table and the small cut above her left eye quickly confirmed that. It was bleeding moderately.

Because Johnny had built rapport with Donna at their earlier call, Roy let Johnny take the lead. Johnny set the equipment down and approached Donna from the side. He pushed the coffee table away for better access to his patient while Roy set up the biophone. Johnny reached down and felt for a carotid pulse as he spoke to his patient.

"Donna, can you hear me?" he said loudly. She didn't stir. He leaned close to her head while he felt the pulse so that he could listen for breath sounds. The pulse was strong and regular. That was a good sign. Her breathing was quiet enough he couldn't hear it but he felt the air pass by his cheek and he could see her chest rise and fall. Her skin was pink, warm and dry. He spoke his findings so that Roy could record them.

Roy called in to Rampart. "Rampart, Squad 51, how do you read?"

"We read you 51, go ahead." It was Doctor Morton.

"Rampart we have a female patient, early twenties. She was the victim of a sexual assault earlier about 18 hours ago. This is a second response to this address. Patient is currently unconscious, has sustained a blow to the head apparently from a fall. It appears she hit her head on a coffee table. Her skin is pink, warm and dry, pulse is strong and regular and her breathing is adequate at this time. Stand by for vitals."

"10-4 51. Standing by"

"Roy" said Johnny, not looking up from his patient. "She is not responsive to painful stimuli." Roy began to get the oxygen ready for delivery, setting up a non-rebreather mask and setting the flow meter to 15 liters per minute. Johnny took the mask and put it on their patient while Roy got out a c-collar to take spinal precautions. Before he applied it, Johnny did a rapid assessment of her head and neck finding nothing remarkable other than the previous bruising and the minor cut above her eye. Once the collar was in place they carefully repositioned her aligning her spine and placing her head in a neutral position. Roy immediately began taking her blood pressure while Johnny continued checking the rest of her body for signs of trauma. Roy counted her pulse and respirations and checked her pupils then returned to the biophone to report his findings.

"Rampart, Squad 51" Roy spoke into the biophone.

"Go ahead 51."

"Rampart patient's vitals are, pulse is 84, respirations are 16 and full, and BP is 120 over 80. Pupils are equal and reactive, but sluggish. We have the patient on o2 and have taken spinal precautions.

"Okay 51. Is there any bleeding or fluid from the ears, nose or mouth?"

"Negative Rampart."

"Is an ambulance on the scene?"

"That's also negative but one should be arriving shortly," Roy answered.

"10-4 51. Start an IV…" Doctor Morton gave treatment directions.

Roy repeated them back. "… Monitor respirations and transport as soon as possible."

When the ambulance arrived, Johnny and Roy had their patient packaged on a backboard and ready to go. Johnny rode with the patient and Roy followed in the squad.

"Johnny," called Roy for the third time from the doorway of the nurse's lounge, this time a little louder than before.

"Huh?" The younger paramedic turned around and looked up.

"Turn the water off," Roy replied.

"Huh?" Johnny looked confused for a brief moment then turned back toward the sink and looked in to see water gushing from the faucet down into the an over flowing coffee cup. He turned the water off then scrubbed his face with his dry hands. "Sorry about that," he said sheepishly, looking very tired. "I guess I was lost inside my head."

"Yeah, I guess so. You wanna talk about it?" Roy asked, now standing beside him.

"What's there to talk about?" asked Johnny sounding none too convincing to his best friend.

"Sit down," said Roy pointing to a chair. He turned around and poured two cups of coffee setting one before Johnny and the other on the table in front of an empty seat, which he then occupied.

"Thanks," said Johnny dully as he grasped the cup with both hands and stared down into it.

"Johnny, what's so special about Donna that you've gotten hung up on her?" Roy asked bluntly in a soft voice. It wasn't a voice filled with accusation or condemnation but one of concern. Johnny didn't answer and didn't look at his partner either. "Come on Johnny. You need to talk about this to someone. It might as well be me."

Johnny looked at Roy for a second then made sort of a smile and let it fall from his face again. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"So talk to me," said Roy.

Johnny took a sip of his coffee and set it down again. He looked at Roy and then his eyes turned back down to study the inside of the cup. "I can't stop thinking about her, Roy. She was so scared and we were there to help her and she almost didn't let us at all. If her brother hadn't shown up, we wouldn't have been able to do a thing."

"You're right Johnny. But it's within her right to refuse help. We can't help them if they don't want the help."

"I know that. But she was hurt. And I just don't understand why women, I mean sometimes men too, but women especially who have been abused in some way; they almost always refuse to accept help. It's like they think they don't deserve it or something. Or they're embarrassed. Embarrassed! Like it was their fault that they were hurt or something. It doesn't make any sense."

"Johnny, that happens for a lot of reasons. I mean, it may not make sense to you or to me but the feelings are very real and logical to them. Sometimes they feel like they could have prevented it somehow. Like they SHOULD have prevented it somehow. Or fought harder. Or any number or things they think they should have done differently. The sad reality is that they often just ended up in their situation because they cared about someone or they were too polite to listen to the feeling they had that hinted they might be in danger. Society raises women to be polite and hospitable. They're nurturers by nature. That sometimes causes them to second guess their own gut feelings so as to not make someone else uncomfortable. Then when the unthinkable happens they look back and realize that there were warning signs that they ignored and they kick themselves for it."

"Yeah Roy, I know, I KNOW. But knowing it doesn't mean it makes any sense," said Johnny sounding very frustrated.

"It doesn't make sense to me either. But it is what it is. That still doesn't answer my question though." Roy looked at his partner thoughtfully and waited for a response.

"Huh? What question?" Johnny asked looking confused for a moment.

"I asked you what makes Donna so special that you're hung up on her?"

"Oh that," said Johnny. "Well, I guess I never told you this. I've never really talked to anyone about it really. I uh… I had… a sister. She was an older sister."

**** This is a section describing violent memories. If you want to skip it go to the next section after the row of asterisks (***).**

"What happened Johnny?" Roy asked after a sip of his coffee.

"Well, I was 12 and she was 23. I had gone to my aunt's house for the weekend to help with some chores that needed to be done and my parents were out of town visiting some old friends. When I was done with my chores I walked home. When I got close to the house I could hear Emmy crying. I was afraid something terrible had happened to my parents and I ran into the house. At first I didn't' see her but then I realized the crying was coming from the floor. I ran into the living room and I saw the ugliest thing imaginable. She was wearing nothing. Her hands were tied to the coffee table. And he was… well, you know. He was in our house and hurting her. When he realized I was there he turned and glared at me and told me to sit down and shut up. He punctuated his sentence by waving a buck knife at me." Johnny had tears in his eyes as he shared these painful memories with his best friend. For a moment he was too choked up to speak.

"That must have been really rough for a kid to see," Roy said.

"I wanted to kill him. I wanted to wrestle that knife out of his hand and drive it right into his chest. But I was scared. I was afraid to do anything."

"You were a child Johnny. Anyone would be scared but you were a child. You don't blame yourself do you?" Roy asked

"I know it wasn't my fault he did it, but I didn't try to stop him. And I didn't save her, Roy. I didn't save her."

"What happened next, Johnny?" Roy questioned.

"I sat there not wanting to see or hear what was happening and too afraid for her life to close my eyes. He continued and beat her and then when he was through he cut the ties off of her hands and stood up. He thanked her for a good time and said, "I'll catch ya later." He looked at me and came very close, holding the knife near my ear and said to me, "You didn't see anything, you got that?" and then he left."

"What did you do?" Roy encouraged Johnny to tell more of the story. He knew this was the part Johnny really needed to talk about.

"As soon as the door closed I ran to get my father's shotgun. I got it and I was going to go after him. But my sister blocked the doorway. She wouldn't let me go. I begged Emmy to move. I wanted her to let me kill him."

"But she wouldn't." Roy said.

Johnny shook his head sadly. "He was her boyfriend. The police chief's son. And he was white. If I had gone after him, our whole family would have been killed. She never reported it, never went to a doctor. She never even told our parents. And she made me promise I wouldn't either. Our parents were gone three weeks and he came back almost every day. She let him do whatever he wanted and he beat her anyway. Sometimes he beat me too. I begged her to get help. I begged her to run away. I told her we'd run away together. She just wouldn't listen."

"Johnny, you said he beat you too. Did he ever…" Roy stopped and tried to find a way to ask another unthinkable thing. He didn't want to pry into Johnny's life but he wanted to know how to help his friend. Johnny realized where things were heading and cut him off.

"Roy, we ah… we better get back in service. Let's go pick up our supplies and we can find out how Donna's doing on the way out. It's almost 4:30."

Silently, Roy kicked himself for giving Johnny the opportunity to avoid dealing with his pain. He realized that meant his hunch was probably right and the thought sickened him. He reached across to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder. "I know that was tough for you to share but, if it helped you at all to talk about it, I'm glad you did." He gave Johnny's shoulder a little squeeze and then let go. "If you ever feel like talking about this again, I'll be around."

"Yeah. Thanks, Roy. But I'd rather not."

Roy shrugged. At least it was a start.

************************************************End of section describing violent memories.**

Before leaving the nurse's lounge, Roy picked up the coffee cups and took them to the sink, rinsing them out before following Johnny to the desk in the ER. At least he understood more why Johnny was so hung up on the girl. Poor Johnny. He blamed himself all these years for what happened to his sister… and what Roy was sure happened to Johnny too.

As Johnny gathered up a few supplies, Roy picked up an armload. He was just turning to leave when he saw Doctor Morton approach.

"How is she, Doc? Any change?"

"Yeah, she'll be alright. She's conscious and alert. Got a nasty bump to the head, slight concussion. But with rest and time, she'll make it." Doctor Morton reported very briefly but to the point.

"That's good to hear," Roy said.

"Can we stop in and see her a minute?" Johnny asked.

Doctor Morton wanted to say no but for some reason, his gut told him to say yes and he did. "Just for a minute. She needs her rest. And I suggest you get some too. You look like hell."

***Sorry if this was hard to read. I promise that there won't be any more scenes like that. I just felt it was critical to the direction this story is going. Feel free to leave your comments and feedback. Just please be respectful. I respect your opinions and would love to know your thoughts and feelings. If you are more comfortable in contacting me through private message I am open to that as well. Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience with the long time between posts. I am in EMT school right now and working full time. It is a very difficult schedule to keep but even if I don't get an opportunity to write until after June when my class ends, I will see this story and my other one through. I never abandon my stories. -Hotflash**


	8. Chapter 8

**Star Light, Star Bright, Wish I May, Wish I Might**

**Chapter 8**

***For those who chose to skip the scene in Chapter seven, Johnny confided to Roy that when Johnny was 12, his 23 year-old sister was repeatedly abused by a boyfriend and it was implied that Johnny was too. This is a necessary element for the reader to be aware of for the rest of the story to make sense.**

Roy let Johnny visit Donna alone. The last thing the poor girl needed was men she didn't know very well hovering over her. He took the supplies from Johnny and headed for the squad.

Johnny knocked softly on the door to Donna's room but got no response. He stepped in warily, not wanting to startle her or disturb her. Donna's eyes were closed when he entered. She appeared to be sleeping. He looked at her bruised face; tear stained but still, for the moment anyway. He thought how peaceful she looked at that moment and wished that she could _feel_ at peace again.

Quietly, Johnny cleared his throat. He wanted her to be aware of his presence but he did not want to disturb her if she was truly asleep. The nurses would be waking her every hour for neurological checks anyway and she needed her rest. When she didn't stir, Johnny sat himself down in the chair near her bed and folded his hands, bowed his head and offered up a silent prayer on her behalf.

He had never really considered himself a religious man but he figured if there was a God up there, He was the one to turn to. Johnny prayed Donna would be able to feel at peace again and that she would be able to move past her ordeal. He knew the likelihood of catching the creep that did this to her was slim to none but he prayed for justice for her anyway. And he prayed that he would somehow be a help and a comfort to her. When he finished the prayer, he stood slowly and quietly to leave. He glanced at her face one more time, longing to reassure her that she would eventually be okay and knowing there was no way that he could. Finally, he turned to leave.

Donna had a crushing headache. She was aware of where she was and she was aware that somebody was in her room, but she did not know whom. She opened her eyes and closed them again as the dim light in the room assaulted her, increasing the intensity of her headache.

"Where are you going?"

Was that a whisper he just heard? Johnny turned around and looked at Donna again, but nothing seemed to have changed. He scrubbed the side of his face with his hand and let it slide across his chin, stroking it a moment before turning again to leave.

"Why did you come?"

He turned around again and this time, he saw that Donna's eyes were fighting to open.

"Donna, I'm John Gage. I'm one of the parame….."

"I know who you are. Why are you here?" she said, barely louder than a whisper.

"My partner, Roy and I… we… I just wanted to see how you were doing. I wanted to see if you were… okay. I mean, I know you're not okay but…." He stumbled over his answer feeling stupid. She cut him off by holding her hand up.

Donna stared at the man in her room taking in the blue uniform and the badge on his shirt as she interrupted. "I know what you mean. Thanks. You don't have to be here," she said, hand flopping back down on the bed beside her.

"If you don't want me to check in on you, I won't bother you again," he offered.

"It's a free country." With that she closed her eyes again, what little strength she had apparently spent. Johnny considered her words. Not ecstatic to see him, but not closing him out either. He decided that was positive.

He continued to talk to her. "Uh, is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can bring you later or anything at all you need?"

Donna took a long time to respond and though the silence was awkward, Johnny waited patiently and hopefully. "Andrew," she finally said, still keeping her eyes shut.

Johnny smiled, happy that she had responded. "Your brother?"

Donna nodded. "He doesn't know I'm here."

"Well, I'm sure the hospital would have notified him, they're pretty good about that kind of thing…" Johnny started to explain but Donna interrupted him.

"They don't have the phone number to reach him. It's a new job and neither of us knows the phone number yet."

"Oh, well… Where's he work?" asked Johnny.

"He's a service station attendant at the 76 on 9th and Piedmont," she answered.

"Well, that isn't far out of our way. Would you like for us to stop by and talk to him?" Johnny offered.

Donna didn't really want to ask him to do anything for her. She didn't want to be obligated to him in any way. But she needed for Andrew to know. "Please," she answered in a whisper with a slight nod of her head.

"We'll do that. Don't you worry about a thing except getting better."

Donna opened her eyes a moment and thanked him, then closed them again.

"You're welcome. I'll check on you again later if I can. I guess I uh, I better be going now. Take care," he said. Before turning to leave, Johnny reached into his wallet and took out a card. With the green pen from his shirt pocket, he wrote something on the back. "Donna?" he said.

Donna opened her eyes again and Johnny stepped closer to the bed, reaching out to hand the card to her. "If you need anything, anything at all, please call me. That's the Station number on the front of the card; just ask for Johnny. And I wrote my home number on the back. You can call me anytime, day or night. Okay?"

Donna did not reach out to accept the card and closed her eyes again. Feeling awkward, Johnny set it on the bedside table. "Just in case," he said. "I just want to help." He shifted self-consciously oh his feet. When Donna didn't open her eyes again or speak, he turned to leave. "Take care," he said on his way out.

Roy was waiting in the squad doing his best to stifle a yawn when John came out. As Johnny opened the passenger door, Roy studied his partner carefully, watching him get in and fasten his seat belt without saying a word.

Johnny could feel Roy looking at him, though he himself just stared straight ahead.

"Johnny?" Roy inquired softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah 'm fine."

"Well, how was Donna?" He asked.

"I don't know Roy. I just don't know." He looked at his partner who looked back at him with an expression of compassion.

"I understand, Junior," He paused to make sure Johnny wasn't going to say anything else. "Ready?" Johnny nodded and Roy started the engine.

"Roy? We need to make one stop on the way back to the barn," Johnny informed him.

Roy rolled his eyes. He didn't really mind so much that Johnny wanted to make a detour but it meant the last chance at crawling back into bed had probably passed. "Where to, Junior?" he asked.

"The service station at 9th and Piedmont. Donna's brother works there," replied Johnny.

"Right." Roy said as they reached the main road and turned left. A short time later they rolled up to the service station.

"You want me to talk to him?" asked Roy as they pulled in.

"No thanks, Roy. I've got it," Said Johnny, opening his door.

Andrew saw the paramedic and recognized him instantly. "Hey, you're the paramedic that took care of my sister, right?" he acknowledged the man.

"Ah… Yeah. That was my partner and me. Listen… Uh, I don't want to alarm you but we made another run for your sister this morning…"

"Donna's okay isn't she?" he interrupted, instantly alarmed.

Johnny held up a hand as if to say, 'stop and slow down.' "Well, now, she's resting comfortably at Rampart. She's going to be okay but she's going to have to stay there at least a day or two."

"What the hell happened? He didn't…" Andrew thought the worst.

"Relax, try not to get too worked up. As far as I can tell, she may have had some kind of a panic attack or something. She apparently hyperventilated and passed out hitting her head as she fell down."

Andrew's eyes were wide with fear as he listened. Johnny put his hand on Andrew's shoulder to reassure him. "Relax, she's in good hands. I just left there and she was conscious and alert. She's got a concussion but she's gonna be okay."

Andrew relaxed a little. Johnny's calm demeanor and the honest concern showing in his eyes but him a little more at ease. "Thanks Mister…" Andrew looked at the nametag on the paramedic's shirt. "…Gage. Thanks for everything."

"It's Johnny, and you're welcome." Johnny opened his wallet, took out a card and wrote his home number on it before handing it to Andrew. "The number on the front is the number to the Station where I work, just ask for Johnny. I wrote my home number on the back. You can call me any time. If there's any way I can help, please do call."

Andrew accepted the card gratefully. He had no idea how to help his sister emotionally. All he knew was that he wanted to kill the creep he had recently called friend who did this to his sister. "Thank you, Johnny." He reached out to shake John's hand.

John returned the gesture. "You're welcome. I guess I'd better be going now. So long." He turned and walked back to the squad.

When the squad backed into the station the engine and her crew were nowhere to be found.

"Well, at least we're not the only ones not sleeping," said Roy taking off his blue jacket. He hung it over the middle of the seat-back in the squad and then headed to the washroom. He scrubbed his hands thoroughly then washed his face. Johnny's actions mirrored his own and there were no words between them. When Johnny was through drying his hands, Roy looked at him.

"Want some coffee?" he asked.

"Yeah. _I'll_ make it!" Johnny emphasized. Roy just rolled his eyes in response.

In the day room, Roy began putting away the clean dishes from the drain board while Johnny prepared the coffee. When it was ready Johnny poured them each a cup then the two men sat down at the table.

"How _did_ your visit with Donna go?" asked Roy after having a sip of coffee.

"Oh, well, you know… She didn't say much but she was conscious and alert, sort of. I told her to ah… To call… If she needed anything."

Roy's eyebrows rose up at Johnny's admission to getting even more involved. "Johnny…" Roy started.

"I know!" Johnny interrupted. "Forget about Rule Number One. It's already too late for that. I can't let it go, Roy. I just can't! She had… she had that same look!"

Roy focused on his friend with concern and compassion. As he looked into the face of his partner he saw raw emotion. He could see that this was tearing Johnny apart.

"Johnny, I think maybe you should talk to somebody about this," Roy encouraged him. "It's eating you up and you're not going to…"

"I _couldn't_ save her, Roy," Johnny blurted out suddenly. Tears streamed down his face but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "I just couldn't save her!" He was talking about what had happened to his sister again.

Roy reached out and put a hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Johnny…"

"Don't Roy!" Johnny pulled away and tore into his best friend. "Don't try and feed me that garbage. So what if I was twelve. I didn't save her Roy. I should have told someone. I should have called our parents. I should have saved her. She couldn't deal with it. She blamed herself and she couldn't handle it. Don't try and tell me I was just a kid… I could have… I _should_ have done something."

Johnny was outwardly crying now. He realized he was tearing into Roy, projecting his own anger at himself onto his friend when all Roy had done was try to be supportive. He stood up and faced Roy who also stood at that time.

"Johnny, what happened?" pressed Roy. He knew there must be more that Johnny had not told him yet.

"I came home from school and I found her. She was in the bathtub. Roy, there was so much blood. It was too late…"

Roy put his arms around his friend and hugged him. He knew deep down that Johnny was once again that twelve-year-old boy, feeling helpless and fearful at the horror of seeing what no one should have to. The only thing awkward about it all was that Roy felt badly that he couldn't do more for Johnny.

Johnny cried for several minutes and Roy continued to hold on to him, offering what support he could and encouraging him to get it all out. Before Johnny had finished winding down on his own the two men heard the bay door start to roll up and Johnny quickly stepped away. He headed straight for the washroom. It was one thing for Roy to see him like this, but the rest of the men didn't need to know about it and they weren't about to see him this way.

***Thanks for being SO patient for this update. I finished EMT school and passed the National Registry exam. Now I am hoping to get hired soon. As I said before, I will NOT abandon my story but I don't know how soon I will update it again. I'll try not to let it go too long.**

**More importantly, I am aware that several of you reading this story have experienced rape or incest either personally or someone close to you has been through it. I am trying to be sensitive to those who might find certain scenes harder to read. I want those of you who have been through it to know, in case you haven't heard it before, NO MATTER WHAT the circumstances were/are… it is NOT your fault. Nobody **_**asks**_** to be abused or **_**deserves**_** to be abused.**

**Feel free to leave feedback either by clicking below or by sending me a private message if you prefer. I am open to suggestions, comments or any kind of sharing. Take care. -Hotflash**


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